What does it mean?

This week I turned 55...and I must say I'm not feeling it this year. I just feel indifferent. Not happy, not sad - nothing. In fact, I would have rather not even celebrated. I really wanted to hear the "Happy Birthday Sweetie" and it just wasn't there. Strange thing is we used to go to dinner every year with two other couples. Three of us had Birthdays in the same week. Now three are gone. We have no more couples...only three single people. It's all very strange indeed. So we met for dinner and we toasted our spouses who are no longer with us.